¡El Splato!

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

Our desire to travel to Spain was born out of a desire to be a part of La Tomatina in Buñol, a small town about an hour outside Valencia; a bucket list item that we just had to be a part of, even though we were twenty years older than most of the participants. We’ve seen images of this event for years and each time we do, we swear we’re going to make the trip. Now we can gratefully cross the item off our list.

La tomatina

Tomatoes--good for eating and for throwing.

If you’ve ever been in a mosh pit (mosh pit:  for the AARP crowd, it’s a large crowd of hooligans at a punk concert that slam, push and bounce around) imagine being in the craziest one ever with 45,000 people who’ve come from all over the world to be packed into the narrow streets of Buñol for four hours or more–that’s La Tomatina. For hours we stood (if you can call it that) in the middle of a narrow street leading to the village square while being pushed from side to side as waves of bodies moved with a pulsing motion forward, back and from side to side. As more and more people pushed their way to the front of the throng, the crowd grew more and more dense until it was impossible to find a spot where you were not crushed against bodies. One wrong step and a fall and it could be the end. Luckily, neither one of us suffered any injuries. And, this was all happening before the beginning of the tomato fight.

45,000 people packed like sardines, waiting for the fiesta to begin!

We ended up next to a gang of thugs ripping off t-shirts from unsuspecting men trying to push by. And once the t-shirts were ripped from the men the shirts were tied in knots and thrown around the crowd.By the way, none of the men harassed any of the women and most of the young men were even protective of the women in the crowd. We eventually decided to just take our shirts off instead of having them torn off our bodies.

Hot messes!

As more and more people jammed closer to the square, the temperatures soared. All of those bodies produce a lot of heat and when you combine that with a hot, cloudless day in Spain in August, well  you can imagine the crowd’s growing discomfort.  We did get the occasional relief from the stench and sweat whenever the locals threw buckets of water and sprayed hoses from their balconies or rooftops down onto the crowd. This only made the knotted shirts that much harder as they grew saturated from the water accumulating at our feet. By the way, it’s no fun to get hit in the head with one of those. And someone had the nerve to bring a hollowed watermelon as a warmup. Another thing that hurts like a mother f#$%er when it hits you in the head.

Here come the tomatoes!

The actual tomato fight doesn’t officially start until some crazy young man climbs to the top of a greased poll and captures the jamon. And once he does, he’s then hand passed overhead through the crowd along with the jamon, as a type of hero, until he reaches the end of the crowd. Once he reaches the end, a huge cannon blast signifies the start of the tomato fight and all hell breaks loose! If the sardine packed crowds weren’t enough, the crowd gets pushed out of the square as huge trucks drive through the small street with huge rugby player-types (the forwards, not the backs) walking in front as they push everyone who is not on the narrow sidewalk out of harms way of the truck. Of course as they do this everyone is being smashed up against one another and the wall. Riding on the trucks are more rugby players throwing tomatoes (think of the hard Roma variety) into and at the crowd and that’s when the fun begins.

Watch those tomato seeds (and the wet knotted shirts).

We were pushed down a side street by the first truck and as each truck passed by we were pushed further and further down the street until the second blast signaled the end of the tomato fight. By that time we were standing in a river of red as water and tomato filled the streets. Once the trucks pass and the streets run red everyone who has not had enough will body surf down the streets and throw handfuls of red mucky whatever at who ever is around. (This is the part that most people see in images). After all those hours of being in the mosh pit from hell with smells of sweat, tomatoes, sewer (Buñol at the end of summer smells just as bad as any major city in the summer) and god only knows what else, we had had all we could take as we gagged our way out of the crowd. Our forty year old bodies had given up. We threw a few tomatoes and had a great time but we weren’t covered in red like many of the participants.

Will they ever be clean again?

At the beginning, just as we exited El Arbol’s bus and as we walked down to the city center, we thought that this might be an annual pilgrimage, but as we ascended back to our bus after the tomato fight neither one of us wanted to return to the event again. At dinner that night, it took all the muster we had left to gag down a few cherry tomatoes. Maybe our next bucket list item needs to be something more age appropriate and serene, like yoga in Bali.

The Whole Hog!

Here piggy, piggy...

Confession time. Yes, we have been keeping a secret from many of you and it’s finally time to come clean. Jason was once a vegetarian and Steve, in his effort to impress Jason, was a vegan. That’s right, the two guys that cook and eat venison with passion were once PETA supporting, Birkenstock wearing, tree hugging, dirty hippies! We’re still a bit crunchy, and called dirty hippies by Steve’s co-workers, but now we have our vegetables with a side of meat. We know many of you may be shocked and dismayed and you have every right to be, but come on everything in moderation, right? Including pig.

Jason's birthday pig. It's time to BBQ!

Alas, we’ve long since abandoned the vegetarian lifestyle as we’ve embraced our inner carnivore with a bit of gusto. Now, make no mistake, we believe more than ever that a diet based on fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, beans and grains is the only means to a healthy, long life. But meat is so satisfying and so important to our nutritional well being that we can’t imagine ever forsaking it again. And nothing says carnivorous bliss quite like meaty, succulent pork.

4505 Meats at the Ferry Building's Farmers' Market. Yummy pork sausage sandwich.

We took our interest in all things porcine to a new level in April when we joined 7 other hog loving epicures at a 4505 Meats pig butchery class in San Francisco. The 9 of us, all scrubbed and in aprons, broke an entire hog down into various chops, roasts and steaks using the tools of the trade – boning knives, hacksaws, mallets, hatchets and cleavers. Indeed, this was as hands-on a butchery class as one could ever expect and it was amazing! Under the patient tutelage of 4505 Meats’ Ryan Farr, we learned to skin the pig, break it down into primal cuts, “French” chops, and de-bone hams. When we were finished with the work, we had many, many pounds of fresh pork to divide among us and virtually nothing went to waste.

Our first chop before the pan.

With our freezer full of pork we’re working our way through the different cuts. Our first meal from the pig consisted of just one  huge chop. The chops are so large that both of us are able to split one and still feel full. We grilled the chop on the stovetop and finished it in the oven seasoned with nothing more than salt and pepper. The flavor was nice and fresh, but not nearly as good as the other pig parts that we later brined before grilling. The blueprint for the brine recipe comes from 4505 Meats, with the addition of a few other ingredients and a reduction in sugar.

Pork chop with polenta.

We know we’ve been saying this often, probably too often, but it’s time for us to have a party. We’re thinking of a bbq in the park. But since summers are so darned cold in San Francisco, we might need to wait until the fall when the weather is more inviting in our foggy neighborhood. Of course, if any of our friends are up for  hosting responsibilities, we’re willing to bring the party, pig and all! Leave a note and let us know.

Spicy Pork Brine (2 – 4 pork chops or 1-2 pork loins)

Adapted from 4505 meats Spicy Brine recipe card

½ cup brown sugar
1 cup kosher salt
8 juniper berries
6 cloves
small handful of whole black peppercorns
1 star anise
1 cinnamon stick
¼ cup red pepper flakes
4 cups water
4 cups ice

Mix all the ingredients except the ice in a sauce pan. Bring the mixture to a boil and stir until the sugar and salt are dissolved. Add the ice and refrigerate until very cold, around 40 degrees. Transfer the brine to a large bowl with a lid or a large zip lock bag.

For brining a pork loin leave in the solution at least 8 hours and up to 24 hours.

For pork chops leave in the brine for 4 – 8 hours.

Rinse the pork after brining and pat dry with paper towels before cooking. Grilling the meat and then finishing in the oven is the best way to eat the meat once it’s been brine, in our opinion. Be careful that the meat does not burn. The added sugar from the brine can cause a quick char to occur.